A Regimented Life

I prefer to live my life in certain ways.  A bit regimented, some probably would probably conclude, until I’m not.  I’m what you would consider one of those all or nothing people.  Moderation is so very hard for me to maintain.  I would rather stray to two different sidelines and reside there for a bit until I’m drawn back like a magnet to something that is altogether different.

When I get something stuck in my head, it’s hard to let much of it go.  It may be an idea, a way of eating or dressing or even a workout routine.  I find it comforting knowing how my day is going to be laid out. The monotony in things should never be ignored, dear reader, for the routine can be comforting  

But...

when my new found routine is broken, a motor begins to buzz in my head. 

"How could you not do what you promised yourself," it spats.

"You really have let us all down," it chimes.

I try to ignore such ill voiced thoughts, knowing that they only take place in a crevice of my brain.

But...

sometimes it feels so very good to lean into such thoughts; lean into the routine, and just obey the buzzing for a little while longer.

I’m not saying that each day is exactly the same given the week.  But for me Mondays will look like a Monday, Tuesday like a Tuesday and so forth and so on.  Let me provide an example of my scheduled week.

Monday: 

AM

Workout: weight training arms

A shot of GLOW peptides 

A shot of GLP-1

PM

30 minute Sauna

Skin care routine: red light therapy, hyaluronic acid, retinol, moisturizer, castor oil 

Supper: seafood soup (from our local Chinese restaurant) and half of a mustard and ham sandwich 

Tuesday

AM

Workout: weight training legs

A shot of Glow peptides

PM

60 minute heated Yoga (usually on Tuesday, but sometimes I will change it to a Wednesday) and then the days I don’t do yoga I do the sauna

Skin care routine: red light therapy, collagen, moisturizer, retinol oil

Supper: this does vary, but it's usually something soup related

Wednesday

AM

Workout: 30 minutes cardio (usually a Peloton cycling session)

A shot of Glow peptides

Write first draft of blog

PM

30 minute Sauna (if I don’t do yoga on Tuesday)

Skin care routine: red light therapy, special, more expensive moisturizer, medicube overnight mask

Supper: this does vary, but usually breakfast for dinner

Thursday 

AM

Workout: 45 minutes weight training arms and legs

A shot of Glow peptides

PM

30 minute Sauna

Skin care routine: same as Monday

Supper: varies but usually wings or shrimp, scallops, and mashed cauliflower

Friday

AM

A shot of Glow peptides

60 minute heated yoga

First revision of blog

PM

Date night with husband

Skin care routine: same as Tuesday

So...

you can see what I mean.  It’s all very planned, very regimented.  I do try to keep the weekends open; it actually provides the brain break that I need to just go with the flow for awhile without overthinking what I perhaps did not do,

but need to do,

to feel complete.  

I do have a lengthy Sunday self care routine, that is a must of course, but I won't bore you with those details.

I really blame my dad’s genetics for some of this.  I grew up with his OCD tendencies, however, for him they manifested themselves on making sure everything was as clean as it possibly could ever be.  He broke more than one dish and even an appliance or two trying to scrub them to a bright sheen.  He was even told by the dentist at one point that he needed to quit brushing his teeth quite so hard because he had literally brushed the enamel off of them.

Oh, how I wish my tendencies filtered into the cleaning department.

(or maybe I don't because it does seem so very exhausting)

Once I begin something, repeat it more than once, my brain simply refuses to let it go and it festers upon making it into a habit.  I have had disruptions along the way; where I haven’t been able to complete my designated schedule and I do have to talk myself out of the mind numbing, earth shattering buzzing, spiral because I know this is all not healthy.  Life is not meant to be so scheduled, I think. 

Life can be messy of course and filled with the pitfalls and detours that make it special.  I'm glad that I have come to terms with that small fact at least.  I will tell you it was touch and go there for a while in my youth, but I suppose that is what age does.  It makes you recognize the mistakes you have made and hopefully will provide you with tools to not repeat such things again. I do believe that my go with the flowness has improved even though I like the consistency of certain regiments and I hope to keep them in my life for awhile at least, just as long as they don't disrupt my actually

living

this

life.