Thought I Was Depressed...Turns Out I Just Needed To See Some Live Music

Buckle up buttercup for the next two posts are going to be about music, my love for seeing it live, and my willingness to go to any concert, even if I don’t really know the band, and even when it falls on a school night.  These are the weeks that I live for actually, the ones where my evenings are jam packed with music, new adventures, new characters.

You will not be surprised that one of my favorite things about going to concerts is to dress in what I would consider their groupie’s attire. I very much like a theme sometimes, especially when I’min charge of implementing said theme. So, get ready to embark on two weeks filled with concerts and the characters that they inspired.

Also, it's important to note:  I’m still anxious here, especially when going to a new music venue. Will our e-tickets work?  What if they don't? What would we do then? Maybe the website will be down?  What if my phone glitches and dies unexpectantly? What if I lose my ID, credit card, wallet?  What if I get separated from my partner?  You get the idea.  The anxious list goes on and on.  But I do try to silence my intrusive thinking the best that I can by attempting to redirect my mind. I focus on that terrible worst case scenario and if I can come up with a solution for that, then I can accomplish the rest. I simply refuse to let my anxiety ruin an amazing time. If my brain had her way I would stay in my house with my animals, which I will admit is lovely sometimes, but that's not a life that I want to forever live.

Now, onto my week(s) of concerts.

Night #1 - Tuesday

Band: Skerryvore

Character: Cherry Lane (I just saw this limited series THE GIRLFRIEND and the main character was named Cherry and I kind of loved it although she was pretty despicable)

I have never heard of this band before and really why would I?  They are based in Scotland. They blend what you would consider traditional Scottish music, yes there was a bag pipe player, with pop and rock. To me the lead singer sounded exactly like Keith Urban.

We had front row seats, which were amazing.  I felt like I was a member of the band at some points or at the very least their biggest fan.  I made eye contact with the lead singer more than once and may or may not have planned out a different future for myself. One in which I quite my job, moved to Scotland to join their fan club.

The crowd was a bit older and insisted on staying seated, much to the chagrin of the band who expressed surprise at all of its seated patrons, even stating at one point that they were unused to seeing people sit at their concerts. I, for one, was itching to stand up and I wasn’t the only one. Who sits at a concert anyway?   I heard varied murmurs of people wanting to stand but being too shy to be the first ones to do so or maybe they were afraid of blocking the people's view who were seated behind them.

During one of the breaks I got a chance to talk to some people around me.  I was surprised that one couple had been fans of this band for years, having discovered them on a vacation to Scotland some time ago.  And then two women to my right had actually traveled from Little Rock to see them.  Who knew that their fandom had such a wide range?

I did get to stand if you were wondering, although I kicked myself that I wasn’t bold enough to be the first one.  

Night #2 - Wednesday

Band:  Blink 182

Character: Punk rock 90s girl. May go by the name of Lilith

Now I have seen Blink 182 before.  They actually performed at ACL last year and we made a point to get a pretty close spot, so I wasn’t too terribly concerned with getting seats for this concert.  However, it rained all day, so seats would have been nice.  But, we sucked it up like any serious concert goer. We brought ponchos and braved the possibly iffy weather all in the name of good music, a great experience. To be clear it did rain on us more than once, but it was all worth it.

We did luck out and got a spot closer to the railing (or rather G has friends that saved our place, I always give him shit for talking too much to people, but it does have it's perks sometimes) which made entering and exiting a lot easier although my anxiety about dropping through the railing and to the ground below was pretty high.  I watched many a person make the jump and then the inevitable climb back up to the lawn. I marveled at how seamless they made it seem and wondered if I would be quite so stealthy.  I eventually needed a refill on my drink, like I knew that I would, and I decided to embark on the journey by myself amidst some deep breathing and an internal pep talk.  I am proud to say that I didn’t get lost and actually found where we were seated without having to make a panicked phone call. I hefted myself up under the railing and to the safety of my small tarp on the lawn with only a few disjointed movements and I actually didn't make a complete fool out of myself or if I did I was unaware and really isn’t that all that matters.  Ignorance is so blissful sometimes or is it most of the time?

This is me after making it back up to the lawn. It really was higher than it looks.

Blink 182 knew what they were doing.  The set was tight, they played all of their old bangers, and they didn’t have an encore, for who wants to go through the motions of standing and clapping for that extra 10 minutes when we all know the band is going to come back out and play again.

Night #3 - Thursday

Band: Ben Rector

Character: Heather (mainly because I wore a hat)

I’m sad to say I had never heard of Ben Rector before this, but once he began to play I recognized a few of his songs.  

Friends of ours got us VIP tickets (yes the same friends that saved our lawn seats from the night before), so we got to use the lounge and stay in box seats.  I felt very Walmart executive’s wife and I’m not mad about the comparison.

This crowd was more on the tamer side, but then again so was the artist.  Kind of a Ben Folds' vibe going on.  A lot of love songs and I wasn't mad about that either.

Night #3 - Tuesday (again, following week)

Band: Papa Roach

Character: Heavily tatted girlie.  Ruth, likes to be called Ruthie

I kind of felt like I found some of my people at this concert.  So many compliments on my tattoo, and if there's one thing about me you should know is that you can pretty much have me with a good compliment.

Papa Roach was great; the lead singer interacted a lot with the crowd. At one point he stopped to say a few words about suicide prevention.  I read later that the band actively promotes and donates to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, as well as pledging ongoing royalties from the song “Leave A Light On (Talk Away The Dark).”  Of all the messages to use for your platform, I think this is one of the best ones.

I don’t know if it's the people or the music or the artists, but I feel more alive, more free when I’m at a concert.  I let the music move my body and I don't care what I look like.  It’s dark, people are vibing, and I can move uninhibited.

My series of concerts caused me to wonder, what if there was a job where all I had to do was go to concerts and hype the band up?  I’m really the perfect concert goer.  I always clap, sing (even if I don’t know the words), dance.  I never get too drunk, or obnoxious.  Some would say this is the definition of a groupie, but I don’t want to be tied down to one specific band; I don’t even want to talk to the members of one if I’m being completely honest. Like what would I say that they haven't been told a million and half times before. And on my quest to be different I would make a complete embarrassed fool out of myself trying to come up with something unique to say. So, no I don't want to meet the band, I just want to get paid to attend their concert, jump around like I’m 12, maybe write about my experience, and forget about life for awhile. Is that too much of a hard ask?

For now I've resigned myself to being a forever concert goer, even if I will never get paid, but I'm fortunate enough to have found a partner who likes them as much as I do and finances this frivolous passion.

I have found that music, especially when it is live, turns my mood around, brightens my day, and makes me an overall happier person and really isn't that the whole point. To find that special something that makes you better, makes you happier, makes your life worth living. I'm glad I've found one of those things for me and I'm glad that there are artists that still put their soul out there, which is no easy task in today’s messy world where social media makes sharing one’s opinion so accessible. These artists cause color in what could be a very black and white world and who doesn’t love a little bit of color anyway.