My Chance Encounter With Rob Reiner

I can’t actually say that I met Rob Reiner.  We didn’t exchange any pleasantries, I didn’t ask for his autograph or even have my picture taken with him, all of which maybe I should have. Then, there would be proof that what happened actually did in fact happen.

But…we did share a dinner.

It was the summer of 1995.  I had just finished my freshmen year of high school and my parents treated my small family of four to a vacation.  It was the first trip that did not require our maroon station wagon, suitcases securely racked on top of the hood,  multi colored beach towels flapping on the inside of each of the back seat windows (if you know you know). Needless to say my family had upped their game as far as vacations were concerned. I felt very luxurious as we made our way to our flight, tucked in, and fully ready to put my trust and care in the faceless pilots and smiling attendants who took care of us as we arrived to our destination: Hawaii.

The dinner took place in Maui, second leg of our trip. My dad’s friend got us a discount to a hotel that I don’t think we would have been able to afford otherwise and it was here that I attended my very first luau. It was an intimate affair with only about 10 tables of six.

“It’s cool that a celebrity is here, isn’t it?” A member of the wait staff whispered to my dad when we first arrived. 

“A celebrity?” My father promptly asked.  

“Yeah, Rob Reiner's here with his family.”

My initial thought was that this is the man who was at one time married to Penny Marshall. Which is weird that I would even know such a thing since they were only married for a short period of time; actually divorced the year that I was born. My second thought was that he directed one of my all time favorite movies, The Princess Bride.

He was with his family: current wife Michele and two small children and they were sitting at one of the most central tables. He wasn’t trying to hide his celebrity, but he wasn’t flaunting it either, he was being a father, a husband; someone who was on vacation and just wanted to enjoy the evening.  There was one man who asked for his autograph and picture and Reiner smiled ever so slightly and did oblige the request.  My family would never have asked for such a thing, but what if they had?  Would I have even kept said picture if it was taken, this being before the cell phone era? My family wasn’t really one of those photo album making kind anyway. And if I had wanted to say hi, spark a conversation, what would I have said to him anyway?  I like your movies. Can you please cast me in your next one and change my life forever? I don't think any of that would have gone how I imagined it would in my head, so it was best that I just watched him from afar.

At one point I had to go to the bathroom, it was one of those one room affairs, so naturally there was a line and Reiner’s wife came to stand behind me with her son.  She made a joke and I wish I could remember what it was. I do remember that she laughed and I joined in even though I guarantee you I didn’t get it, but she was celebrity adjacent. I would have laughed if she had said the sky was blue.

She was with her son, however and I can't help but to wonder, was that the one that would inevitably murder her thirty some years later. I have done the math just so you know and he would have been two at the time, so it makes sense that she would have helped him to the bathroom.  And there it is. I was in the proximity of a moment in time that could have been changed. Did they know then how sick their son was? Were there signs? A dark clouding of the eyes, a downturned lip, a gray waxy coloring? Or did the Reiners compartementalize reality because it was just too painful. How does one admit that their child has a problem that could disrupt their life and end yours?

There are many memories, the older I have become, that are lost to me, but this is not one of them.  I clearly remember Reiner, his wife and his dark haired son and I do hope that they were happy then and it wasn’t one of the last times that they were, that they had many more happy moments before mental illness snuck its way into their lives.  

I hate that all of this fascinates me so much.  What causes someone who has so much potential, so many opportunities, to disintegrate into the darkest of places?  Because at one point they were just a typical family, on vacation, and they were happy or appeared to be so as they enjoyed their salted pork belly, purple sweet potatoes with the sounds of the ocean playing like a melody behind them.